Thoughts on Life, the Universe, and Everything
I was attacked by Nihilists!
Did you use Post-Constructivism to drive them off?
well actually that's not true there was anti-nothing then anti-nothing came in contact with something and exploded violently. Because when you have something and you put it with anti-nothing that's just what happens. it explodes with the force of 12 billion Nuclear bombs all going off to the tune of God save the Queen. then the explosion is so powerful that it ripped a hole in the fabric of reality and at the center of the somethings that were created from said explosion. this hole then started sucking everything back into it... but all the junk that was created from anti-nothing and something exploding somehow managed to arrange it's self into stars and galaxies and worlds ... and out of the billions of stars and galaxies and worlds one managed to somehow have all the right building blocks ... created by something and anti-nothing blowing up... God save the queen ... anyway one world managed to create the perfect conditions that would lead to LIFE ... from a single cell in a soupy muck in the pre-dawn of time and even though the odds of one cell surviving in the harshest conditions imaginable and then going to to split into two cells that eventually became a creature that walked out on land that was cold blooded and semi aquatic then turned into a super huge uber monster of lizarddom then devolved into a tiny warm blooded rodent that turned into a giant furry sloth ( well ok I can see that one ) then it turned into a bi-pedal monkey that turned into a bigger monkey that turned into an ape that turned into a Neanderthal that turned into a man ... that finally turned into the I.R.S. and is working on his own extinction... all of this is happening while that big hole that I mentioned earlier is sucking everything back into it so the whole thing can start again .... did I miss anything ? ... ya there right that all sounds totally plausible I'm going into my back yard with some fire crackers and creating my own universe... wait wouldn't that make me a God?
You do realize, I hope, that atheists need not believe any of that (nor even a scientifically accurate and non-caricatured version of the narrative that it attempts to mock. If you believe in "turtles all the way down", you are an atheist, despite having also clearly rejected any modern scientific cosmology.) Nor is there necessarily any contradiction with our scientific understanding, if a theist cosmologist also believes that prior to the observable universe, some deity existed. Maybe He even spoke some Latin, or whatever, before everything else happened.Some atheists -- and, obviously, even some theists -- get upset when, as happens from time to time, some other theists tell them things like: you can't teach my kids that the Earth revolves around the Sun, because my Book says things that don't make sense to me if that's true. Surely, you can see why that might be upsetting to some, since, well, why should it be anyone else's problem?And now science has reached a point where it has been forced to conclude that, indeed, we live -- along with a motley crew of our various cousins-a-whole-bunch-of-times-removed, such as yeast cells, and philodendrons -- all on a speck of shrapnel from a 14-billion-year-old explosion! I would agree that, at first blush, it does sound ridiculous if you put it that way. (And I should note that that's a much more accurate synopsis than your thing gave.) Turtles would be so much simpler, if only that were what we saw when we look at the universe around us. Yet, try as we might, we have not been able to find any explanations -- either in our Books, or even in our wildest musings -- that scientists find less ridiculous, when they weigh the evidence carefully.
I do realize that it is a highly caricatured version of something that not even all atheists believe. The main point is that no matter how sound a belief, when phrased in a particular way, it sounds ridiculous to everyone around it.Though, on a completely different level, I wasn't making a point at all - it made me laugh and I wanted to share it. :)
Phrasing certainly can make anything sound ridiculous!That must be why there are so many re-writes on the bible - it's an attempt to come up with a version that doesn't make people scoff/laugh/decide to be atheists :)Zing, Ian -- your turn!
Hahahahaha! Though I could argue that this is why there have been zero rewrites on the Book of Mormon - it does what the Bible wanted to do, but simply could not. ;)